I don't know what internet you people are using, but it's clearly altogether different from mine.



Totally a real thing:

Dear Perth:

Due largely to circumstances beyond my control, I am leaving town on Tuesday. I'm a bit heartbroken about this; it's not what I want, but it is the best option available to me. I'll miss you all.

I have a lovely and comfortable queen sized bed & very pretty white tallboy (a very tall, slender chest of drawers), a happy warm floor lamp and a small white map cabinet about the size of a mini fridge. I really, really, really do not want to throw these away or give them up; they have considerable sentimental value. So I'm asking if anyone has a place for these things for a few months, please? You're welcome to use them – they're clean and empty – and in a month or two I will be able to make arrangements to either have them shipped to me or placed in a storage facility.

Help a sister out, yeah?

Jesus Fuck. Do you know, I though change of government would lead to some tacit improvement in the country.

Apparently not.

University of Sydney associate professor Bjorn Landfeldt said the leaked list "constitutes a condensed encyclopedia of depravity and potentially very dangerous material".

He said the leaked list would become "the concerned parent's worst nightmare" as curious children would inevitably seek it out.

But about half of the sites on the list are not related to child porn and include a slew of online poker sites, YouTube links, regular gay and straight porn sites, Wikipedia entries, euthanasia sites, websites of fringe religions such as satanic sites, fetish sites, Christian sites, the website of a tour operator and even a Queensland dentist.

...

The leaked list, understood to have been obtained from an internet filtering software maker, contains 2395 sites. ACMA said its blacklist, as at November last year, contained 1370 sites.

Assange said the disparity in the reported figure is most likely due to the fact that the list contains several duplicates and variations of the same URL that stem from a single complaint. Alternatively, some sites may have been added to the list by the filter software maker.

ACMA said Australians caught distributing the list or accessing child pornography sites on the list could face criminal charges and up to 10 years in prison.

...

The Communications Minister, Stephen Conroy, said the leak and publication of the ACMA blacklist would be "grossly irresponsible" and undermine efforts to improve cyber safety.

He said ACMA was investigating the matter and considering a range of possible actions including referral to the Australian Federal Police. Australians involved in making the content available would be at "serious risk of criminal prosecution".

"Under existing laws the ACMA blacklist includes URLs relating to child sexual abuse, rape, incest, bestiality, sexual violence and detailed instruction in crime," Senator Conroy said.

"No one interested in cyber safety would condone the leaking of this list."

To which I say: No one interested in cyber safety would condone not leaking this list. Fuck you, Mr Conroy. You are contemptible! In what western democracy can a minister say such things without a call for his resignation?

Today was the first time I ever saw anyone I loved get married. It is a new thing to feel this strongly; I've never been to a wedding that I cared about before.

This will be brief, on account of as the lady said: words diminish.

I'm so unbelievably proud of you both. I love you. You are my best beloveds.

Dear friends: I had a wonderful evening with you all. Y'all had cameras and I didn't scream once, but I'm experimenting with considered, pre-emptive action: please do not post pictures of me on the internet kthx.

I am selling an xBox 360, on account of I don't like videogames as much as I used to. I bought it in September. It's as new, no damage. It comes with 60GB hard disk, guitar hero guitar, as well as Mass Effect, Guitar Hero 3, Viva Pinata, Halo Original, Braid, and Settlers of Catan. If you've never had one, they make excellent media center PCs. Not only do they play DVDs, they can stream media of any mac or windows computer in your house, and it has been able to play any video file we've pointed at it. You can even place your media on a thumbdrive, as it has three USB ports.

If you're interested, make me an offer. Otherwise, I'm going to put it in the Quokka.

My optus coverage is dropping in and out constantly, so until I get it sorted out I'm carrying two phones with me. My old phone number (0416 855 ***) is active for the next few weeks. If you lack it, drop me a comment and I'll email it to you.

(via marsianer)

• Grab the nearest book.
• Open the book to page 56.
• Find the fifth sentence.
• Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions if you want to.
• Don't dig for your favorite book, the cool book, or the intellectual one: pick the CLOSEST.

Le lavabo est encastrè dans une èpaisse dalle de pierre grossiérement taillèe, posèe sur un fût de bois massif.
Art & Dècoration NORD, Fèvrier - Mars 2008

I went to Borders today.

If it was one of you who sent me that email, you need to own up to it now. It's shaped like it came from someone pretending not to be my mother, and that's not part of my definition of "a good time."

Hi, you've reached cardamon7's friends-only throwaway livejournal. I'm not here right now, but please to leave a message after the tone and I'll get back to you.

Tone!

Dude, what the hell? I don't want to save anything to disk, I want to open the fucking site. I appreciate that I'm using IE 6 (not my fault!), but honestly!

I've been having a low level background delight for the better part of a week, and the culprit is decidedly favourable. They're the prettiest books I ever did see (even if they retail for twice the price here. I'll fix that.

I am considering, after years of adamant refusal, to have colour applied to my hair.

I solicit your opinions as to whys, hows, as well as your horror at or support of the prospect and your thoughts as to colours. What do you think would suit me?

A list is tone forthcoming if I've many suggestions. Consider that it is decidedly unlikely for me to choose colours not appearing in nature (particularly green. Please hole whilst I click the "Not for me" button).

SOMEONE YOU CALL YOUR FRIEND, WANTS YOU DEAD.


I felt very sorry and bad for you, that your life is going to end like this if you don't comply, i was paid to eliminate you and I have to do it within10 days. Someone you call your friend wants you dead by all means, and the person have spent a lot of money on this, the person also came to us and told us that he wants you dead and he provided us your names, photograph and other necessary information we needed about you.


Meanwhile, I have sent my boys to track you down and they have carried out the necessary investigation needed for the operation, but I ordered them to stop for a while and not to strike immediately because I just felt something good and sympathetic about you. I decided to contact you first and know why somebody will want you dead by all means. Right now my men are monitoring you, their eyes are on you, and even the place you think is safer for you to hide might not be. Now do you want to LIVE OR DIE? It is up to you. Get back to me now if you are ready to enter deal with me, I mean life trade, who knows, and I might just spear your life, $12,000 is all you need to spend.


You will first of all pay $4,000 then I will send the tape of the person that want you dead and when the tape gets to you, you will pay the remaining $8,000. If you are not ready for my help, then I will have no choice but to carry on the assignment after all I have already being paid before now.


Warning: Do not think of contacting the police or even tell anyone because Iwill extend it to any member of your family since you are aware that somebody want you dead, and the person knows some members of your family as well. For your own good I will advise you not to go out once is 7pm until I make out time to see you and give you the tape of my discussion with the person who wantyou dead then you can use it to take any legal action.


Good luck as I await your reply to this e-mail contact: (sniper_orlando@yahoo.co.uk)


Mr Sniper Olando

Dear Clinician:

I know how much it hurts. I know exactly how much it hurts, and that number is "The worst pain I've ever experienced, ever, by far." The fact that you don't offer pain relief in house, and that you try to tell me the pain shouldn't be unbearable, makes me not trust you at all.

Furthermore, I opened the conversation by telling you that I'm approaching you to complete a course of treatment. Why would you waste your time lying to me? If you're patients aren't requiring pain relief I worry that you're glaringly incompetent.

Also, dude, you recommend I take some panadol? When you're BURNING OFF MY FUCKING SKIN?

I'm really quite inclined to take my business elswhere. Scuze me if I keep looking.

Happy birthday Harveystoat!

Do you epigram?

Share in the dross of my everyday!